Little bits to chew on
1) I watch the Today Show in the mornings while I'm getting ready. Of course, for the last several months, if I've had any free time between when I'm supposed to leave and when I finish getting prepped for work, I've been playing a little Midnight Club 3, which I finally finished (yeah, I know...but you try beating a game in a reasonable amount of time while only playing it 10 minutes at a whack). So, more Today Show for me. My main motivation is that the cast irritates me less than the other morning shows and I do need to have SOME idea of what is going on in the world. Unfortunately, this also means I get a lot of the Hollywood gossip crap that they don't put on the real news shows in the evenings.
For instance, I learned that Britney Spears and Paris Hilton have been hanging out. If that isn't call for a catastrophic club fire, I don't know what is. Anyway, they also have been hanging out with Lindsay Lohan. You know what I realized? Well, first, I realized that people who can't sing seem to be clumping together like stroke-causing platelets on a cholesterol build-up, but THEN I realized that...we're all stuck in Junior High! Why does anyone care who these people hang out with? Why does anyone care what they do? And why doesn't anyone who cares happen to have a sniper rifle and an overdeveloped sense of cultural justice?
Ahem...anyway, think about it. We've got the party girls, the cool guys (you know, the Brad Pitts and George Clooneys...any of the guys who've at some point been named as Sexiest Man Alive or somesuch nonsense), the jocks (T.O., LeBron, etc.), and we've even got the bullies. Of course, you'll almost never have to worry about them flushing your head in the toilet or stealing your milk money. It's your retirement they're after. It's like we're all living on Dawson's Creek.
What? That show's not on anymore? What do I know? I only get three channels.
2) I love me some Heroes. That show is basically my reason for getting up on Mondays. Yes, I realize that it doesn't come on until 8pm Central, but if I don't go to work, I can't get paid. If I can't get paid, I can't give the electric company their money. If they don't get their money, they shut off my power and I can't watch Heroes on Monday nights. And that would be a shame. I mean, I could easily get as involved in it as some people do Lost, had I the time. It wouldn't hurt my feelings any to go over the episodes frame by frame looking at different bits of stuff like looking for the RNA symbol or where else the double slash mark has turned up or even trying to find things in previous episodes after they've come to light, but...I don't have that kind of time, so I just wait for the next airing.
For those of you wondering why my wife isn't my reason for getting out of the bed...dude, she doesn't have to get up until after I've left. She's another reason to stay IN bed.
3) The lamp they have in the delivery rooms at our hospital totally look like some sort of death ray. Especially the way they open out of the ceiling. I keep checking to make sure that our baby isn't going to be delivered by Dr. No.
"Do you expect me to talk?"
"No, Mrs. Askins, I expect you to push!"
For instance, I learned that Britney Spears and Paris Hilton have been hanging out. If that isn't call for a catastrophic club fire, I don't know what is. Anyway, they also have been hanging out with Lindsay Lohan. You know what I realized? Well, first, I realized that people who can't sing seem to be clumping together like stroke-causing platelets on a cholesterol build-up, but THEN I realized that...we're all stuck in Junior High! Why does anyone care who these people hang out with? Why does anyone care what they do? And why doesn't anyone who cares happen to have a sniper rifle and an overdeveloped sense of cultural justice?
Ahem...anyway, think about it. We've got the party girls, the cool guys (you know, the Brad Pitts and George Clooneys...any of the guys who've at some point been named as Sexiest Man Alive or somesuch nonsense), the jocks (T.O., LeBron, etc.), and we've even got the bullies. Of course, you'll almost never have to worry about them flushing your head in the toilet or stealing your milk money. It's your retirement they're after. It's like we're all living on Dawson's Creek.
What? That show's not on anymore? What do I know? I only get three channels.
2) I love me some Heroes. That show is basically my reason for getting up on Mondays. Yes, I realize that it doesn't come on until 8pm Central, but if I don't go to work, I can't get paid. If I can't get paid, I can't give the electric company their money. If they don't get their money, they shut off my power and I can't watch Heroes on Monday nights. And that would be a shame. I mean, I could easily get as involved in it as some people do Lost, had I the time. It wouldn't hurt my feelings any to go over the episodes frame by frame looking at different bits of stuff like looking for the RNA symbol or where else the double slash mark has turned up or even trying to find things in previous episodes after they've come to light, but...I don't have that kind of time, so I just wait for the next airing.
For those of you wondering why my wife isn't my reason for getting out of the bed...dude, she doesn't have to get up until after I've left. She's another reason to stay IN bed.
3) The lamp they have in the delivery rooms at our hospital totally look like some sort of death ray. Especially the way they open out of the ceiling. I keep checking to make sure that our baby isn't going to be delivered by Dr. No.
"Do you expect me to talk?"
"No, Mrs. Askins, I expect you to push!"
posted by Noise Monkey at 10:43 AM
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