Appendage

I think my appendix is the only thing working properly anymore. Went to the optometrist on Friday (having my eyes dilated was an interesting experience) and got a prescription for glasses to use while on the computer (stupid eyestrain). I can't sleep at night because my neck is out of whack, which isn't that painful, but it causes my shoulder to hurt in the way things should only hurt when they're being ripped off. My knees seem to be failing me. I've done nothing to them, but going downstairs requires having a hand on the rail because if I stumble, they aren't strong enough to catch me anymore. Also, standing is less than pleasant. And, to top it off, my stomach seems to have missed that minor detail concerning where it ends and my esophagus begins, since it apparently believes that its acid is just fine so long as it hasn't gone over the edge into my trachea. Of course, a little spillage is bound to happen when it's up that high.

As you can see, the only thing that hasn't failed me yet is my appendix, and it doesn't even do anything (except eventually blow up and try to kill you).

So, if you happen to have a spare body lying around, preferably unused, I'd really appreciate it if you could send it to me for Christmas. This one's pretty much ready to be traded in.