Only About 4 Decades Late

So, this weekend Andria and I watched Jesus Christ Superstar, the "rock opera" by Tim Rice and Andrew Lloyd Webber. This was brought on, of course, when Andria heard one of the female contestants on Grease: You're the One That I Want sing a song from it on Webber's guest judging week.

I don't remember which song it was.

Anyway, I decided, upon viewing that the name would be more properly rendered The Adventures of Pansexual "Jesus" and his Travelling Boy Band. Might as well call it like it is, right? Now, one who knows me might have expected that I would already be going into it with strikes against PJ&hTBB, given my rather conservative religious leanings, but I was aware that I probably wasn't going to be getting anything I was that familiar with. I mean, it's a friggin' Broadway musical! You want theology, go to church. You want a song a dance, you go buy a used car.

I mean, you go see a Broadway show.

Yeah.

My problems with the whole thing, putting aside what I was expecting, stem from some really odd choices with the story they told. I mean, Simon the Zealot has an entire song of his own, but Peter only gets a solo at the beginning of the reprise of "What's the Buzz"? What the heck? I mean, Peter, James and John, the big three disciples are almost entirely absent. Yet, in the "Garden" scene before Judas pops back in, "Jesus" still calls out to them specifically.

I suppose I should mention that the version I watched starred Glenn Carter as Jesus. Andria also got an older version (both through Netflix) and said that it had its own oddities. I don't understand Judas in it at all. He's supposed to be "Jesus'" right-hand man, though "Jesus" really doesn't seem to care about him (which makes sense contextually), and yet the only people Judas considers going to are Caiaphas and the temple leaders?

Really?

I find the particular line of thought "I'm irritated by the direction my best bud is taking, so I'm going to turn him over to the people most likely to kill him" a little off unless it is preceded by "A bathtub full of vodka? Drink it all? Love to!"

Of course, they never really touch on how, if "Jesus" is just a man, then he must be insane, 'cause I know if one of my coworkers started having audible conversations with "God", I'm using my sick days until after they decide to bring a gun to work. And yet, this doesn't concern Judas, who's the only one that isn't buying what "Jesus" is selling.

All these are a problem of incongruity. They felt they had to leave certain elements of the Biblical Jesus in, but they didn't consider how it was a poor fit for what they did with the rest of it. Much like "What's the Buzz" seemed out of place EVERY TIME it was sung. Like in the Garden...WAY too happy for the boy band to be waking up to Judas and the mob.

Anyway, out of the whole thing, the only shining star was the guy who played Pilate. And not because he was good, but because he looked like M. Bison.