Not too much to ask...

A quick request. If you happen to be driving down the dirt road my house is on, I'd appreciate it ever so much if you'd refrain from stopping to have sex on it. I know how dirt roads can be such a turn on and all, but think of all the wildlife you're mentally scarring. And, if that's too much to ask, could you at least keep your underwear inside your car. I don't want a reminder of the day you kept me from getting to my house in a timely manner every time I drive by your discarded unmentionables.

By the way, whoever you are, I hope you get a disease.