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I am wearing a black shirt today.
This, in and of itself, is hardly noteworthy. I wear this shirt about as often as I wear any of my other shirts to work. What made me think about it is that Ted Danson, on Becker as Becker (reruns, of course...they play while I'm running out the door), mentioned to a woman that black was very slimming.
I've heard this before, but I never really thought about the context. I mean, let's say I go up to someone and say, "Hey, nice shirt. Black is very slimming." What I've really just said is, "Hey, you're fat. That shirt makes you look slightly less so."
And then, I get slapped.
I suppose I get the principle behind the idea. I mean, black shadows less on itself and so it creates more of a silhouette of you and leaves out some of the 3-dimensionality (but, let's face it...even black has its limits) making one look like they might, in fact, be a bit more slim. I, for one, don't think it works in profile, though. At least, it doesn't on me.
When I was working at Wal-Mart, one of my coworkers and I had a running joke (?) that we were actually in a paper and pencil RPG. I'm sure we weren't the first to say such things, but we both decided that we'd fumbled a roll getting a job there. To carry that idea on, I wonder if black clothing items would then give you a negative bonus to your girth attribute, which would, inversely, affect your charisma. I imagine that a shirt made from carbon nanotubes would be some sort of quest item, giving a -5/+5 to girth and charisma respectively. Of course, there would probably be some sort of off-set to that, since black draws in light and heat like Britney Spears does crazy. Maybe over time the charisma bonus would start ticking away because the user gets sweaty.
Of course, no amount of black clothing created charisma could erase the stink of having played a Britney Spears song in a band, regardless of intended irony.
Fortunately, no one here has ever done that.
This, in and of itself, is hardly noteworthy. I wear this shirt about as often as I wear any of my other shirts to work. What made me think about it is that Ted Danson, on Becker as Becker (reruns, of course...they play while I'm running out the door), mentioned to a woman that black was very slimming.
I've heard this before, but I never really thought about the context. I mean, let's say I go up to someone and say, "Hey, nice shirt. Black is very slimming." What I've really just said is, "Hey, you're fat. That shirt makes you look slightly less so."
And then, I get slapped.
I suppose I get the principle behind the idea. I mean, black shadows less on itself and so it creates more of a silhouette of you and leaves out some of the 3-dimensionality (but, let's face it...even black has its limits) making one look like they might, in fact, be a bit more slim. I, for one, don't think it works in profile, though. At least, it doesn't on me.
When I was working at Wal-Mart, one of my coworkers and I had a running joke (?) that we were actually in a paper and pencil RPG. I'm sure we weren't the first to say such things, but we both decided that we'd fumbled a roll getting a job there. To carry that idea on, I wonder if black clothing items would then give you a negative bonus to your girth attribute, which would, inversely, affect your charisma. I imagine that a shirt made from carbon nanotubes would be some sort of quest item, giving a -5/+5 to girth and charisma respectively. Of course, there would probably be some sort of off-set to that, since black draws in light and heat like Britney Spears does crazy. Maybe over time the charisma bonus would start ticking away because the user gets sweaty.
Of course, no amount of black clothing created charisma could erase the stink of having played a Britney Spears song in a band, regardless of intended irony.
Fortunately, no one here has ever done that.
posted by Noise Monkey at 9:04 AM
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